Is God speaking to me ?

Lately, I've been having sometime with God and really talking to him . Everyday when I get into my time with God and ask him all kinds of things that are on my mind. There has been so much on my mind lately about times when in situtations I could do somethng about them to make them better. Well for some reason those situtations that I went through I think about a lot they just seem to always come to mind. I've learned the hard way from experience because God is saying ''Bekki you know what you did was wrong but that doesn't mean there isn't going to be any punishment''. Sometimes after I realize I've done something wrong rarely do I actually think about the punishment or consequances that i'm going to have. Often when getting the punishement that I deserve i'm truly not always the one to take it well. Feeling
like maybe God is being to harsh on me but he's not . Just a simple way of saying life is going to be unfair wether we want it to or not. Through all my past bad but good memories God is speaking to me trying to tell me something. Whenever a memory comes up from the past that is
is maybe not so good it's come to my attention for varius reasons. If its a bad one and it tears up my eyes to think about it. Its okay . I've been wondering why this is now all the sudden really grabbing my attention yet that i do not know. In time will I understand what God is trying to tell me. The reason I think God is trying to bring these memories is for a good reason he wants me to have another chance . When I say he wants to give me another chance I mean even though many , many, many, times God has given me more than enough chances and yet I screwed up. He says you can still make the time to do whatever it is you think you did wrong and maybe try to make things better. If anything yes I would like to be able to make things a lot better. I've aready been trying to reach to find the courage to tell so many people I'm sorry . When the time , day and moment is right I'll make it happen. Meanwhile I'm trying to find the right words for how much pain I caused many people. I'm praying that whenever it's time God will help me
do the right thing this time , say the right things time and be more like a christian this time . I'm going to do the right thing this time. Nothing impossible with God !!!!!